back

hi it's been a while since my last post

you might be wondering, what happened to that promise you made on your first post?

well, let's say that life has different plans for me

you see, this year has been rough so far

i'm sure you know all about the terrible and dystopian things that the united states' current president has done in this short period

and i am someone who really worries about her friends. i mean, i have to, it's like i owe them something even though i don't.

i had a writer's block and couldn't write about anything in that period of time.

unblocking

i've tried many things to "unblock" myself, those being

• creating a separate journal to vent about my daily life
• and being more open about my life to my friends and relatives

but none of those have really helped me a lot

i stopped writing in that journal 3 days in, and being more open meant that i was getting the usual reactions from my friends

nothing really changed

but then

but then something clicked

i started to draw

for those who haven't been following me for the past 2 years, i am a furry artist

i draw furries because i identify myself with cats, and by that i mean that i love cats so much that, if given the opportunity, i would be an anthro cat

but i haven't drawn in a very long time
only now i started to draw again
which means that i am rusty
which means that i had to—

practice

because

"practice makes perfect"

i stopped drawing because it felt like i wasn't improving at all
it felt like i was stuck,
it felt like i couldn't get better
it felt like it was a waste of time

but it wasn't

i was getting better, i just didn't have enough feedback to notice

so maybe, maybe i could change

maybe i could share my posts, get feedback, improve, grow

and numbers don't matter

they don't
to me, they are like if they weren't there
all i need is feedback from people, not from a machine

back to the drawing board

so, when art class came up today, i felt an urge to write something

it could be anything, really
this is my garden after all, anything goes
even drafts if i want
it's not meant to be a place to talk about any specific topic

but this has been on my mind for quite a while, and i wanted to get it out of my system

i don't like being stuck, i want to flow
i want to write things that might not make sense, but make sense to me
maybe, maybe, someone understands how i'm feeling
maybe not
and that's fine

in times of uncertainty, it's important to never give up
specially now, when the world might need you

now, go take a nice break at my garden, you might need it